Cumbria Crack

You grow girl: Snowflake plant grows better with ‘woke’ phrases

Nix lanula demitti or ‘Snowflake’ blooms with stunning silver-speckled flowers when showered with liberal praise

It’s long been thought that talking to plants helps them grow. However, scientists have discovered a rare breed of plant that responds differently to ‘woke’ phrases and trolling.

Named by scientists as Nix lanula demitti or ‘Snowflake’ due to its silver-speckled flowers, the rare plant’s growth doubled over a four week period when scientists said ‘woke’ phrases to it. Similarly, the plant experienced a rapid decline in growth when scientists exposed the plant to negative and offensive language.

The experiment was conducted on two plant specimens. Plant A received positive affirmations, such as “your leaves, your choice”, “it doesn’t matter what size or colour your stem is” and “you grow girl”. Whilst Plant B was exposed to negative phrases such as “flowers are for girl plants” and “you’ll never be able to buy your own greenhouse.” The plants were exposed to each phrase every hour for a period of 48 hours, with fourteen phrases used over the four-week experiment. The plants were kept in identical growing conditions.

The results were surprising. Plant A’s height doubled over the course of the experiment, increasing in size from 30cm to over 60cm. Whilst Plant B’s growth declined drastically – the plant actually shrank to 10cm smaller than its original size. Both plants were almost unrecognisable by the end of the experiment.

The research reveals that not only does talking to plants impact growth – it’s what you say and how you say it. Words have consequences and can either help or stunt growth.

The Snowflake plant is available exclusively at Hayes Garden World for just £2.60 (click here) – the same price as a Starbucks soy milk latte.

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